This is SATIRE, folks!
Moorhead, MN - Today Minnesota Catholic Priest, Fr. Ole Jostsen, publicly challenged Texas Baptist Pastor Joel Osteen to a positivity dual. Before a single mic from Moorhead's KLFK Jostsen invited Osteen to St. Olaf Catholic Church in Minneapolis for a contest of positivity sermons. Father Ole, as he is called by his parishioners, suggested a Lutheran audience be subjected to two positivity sermons and be given the University of Notre Dame Positivity Scale (PS) evaluation after each sermon. Whichever sermon results in a higher average score will be declared the winner. Jostsen suggested a Lutheran audience since, as he said, "There ain't no way we're going to get Catholics to sit through two sermons." Jostsen said he had considered Charismatics because they are used to long services, but he reconsidered, speculating Charismatics actually have a short attention span. "Besides," he said, "Lutherans probably are equally put off by both Baptist Pastors and Catholic Priests, and Lutherans are in plentiful supply here in Minnesota."
At press time Osteen had not yet replied to the challenge.